tilted behaviour

Due to my interest in poker over the last few years, it was always inevitable that my Dad would develop an interest too.

Recently he made a small deposit on PokerStars but hasn’t been able to get any rhythm and settle in a limit where he can develop his skills and make some money. He understands the basics of the game, but of course, is still a basic amateur.

Over the last few weeks he hasn’t been able to play too much, and I think this was mainly due to time, but also the fact that his relatively small starting bankroll is a little depleted.

I logged on under Duckers51 to see how much he had left, and after seeing a shocking three bucks and change, I decided to try and run it up for him. Since that day I’ve played a few $1.15 Double-or-Nothing sit-n-goes while sometimes short-stacking some $0.01-0.02c NLH to see the account reach a high of nearly triple what I started with.

Now don’t worry, I’m not going to share hand histories from $0.01-0.02c NLH or bad beat stories, but instead share a chat-off I had with a player by the name of kyle939.

Basically it all started after I was dealt A♣ K♦ and check-raised all-in on a A♥ 4♣ 4♦ flop, and kyle939 made the call with J♦ 5♦ and made a backdoor flush to force me to rebuy.

Duckers51: tell me, what were you thinking when you called with Jack-high?
Duckers51: did you think you were ahead when I check-raised you all in?
Duckers51: or . . . was it that you’re a complete donkey with a faggot haricut that feels like being a donkey?
kyle939: you are a dick
kyle939: i’ve only been playing 1 month
Duckers51: yeah obviously
Duckers51: and you’ll be broke in another month
kyle939: hey duck you are a dick
Duckers51: i don’t mind that you think that, but you still didnt answer my questions
kyle939: hey mallard do you know anything
kyle939: the duckman blows
Duckers51: i know more than you
kyle939: why do you suck
Duckers51: how do I suck? You hit a runner-runner flush like a fish
kyle939: way to go fuck

I then managed to double when my Q♠ J♣ held up against kyle939’s A♥ J♥ when I moved all-in on a Q♦ 8♠ 8♥ flop.

Duckers51: well played fish
Duckers51: the money you just gave me could have been used to get yourself a haircut
kyle939: stop crying
kyle939: maybe in Mexico
Duckers51: maybe from a hobo that lives on your street
kyle939: can’t get a haircut in the real world for less than $15
kyle939: DORK
Duckers51: how would you know? doesn’t seem like uv ever had one!
kyle939: ya play i will take your money dick
Duckers51: well lets play higher stakes
Duckers51: how much money you got?
kyle939: I’m up all night duck fuck
Duckers51: does that random statement have a point?
kyle939: hey duck in the mouth lets play
Duckers51: how much money you got on this site?
Duckers51: I got 4k, so you wanna play $5-10 NLH?
Duckers51: i’ll start a table, come find me
kyle939: your cool
Duckers51: thanks
Duckers51: so is that a yes
Duckers51: or are you wussing out?
kyle939: what did you do blow someone for that
Duckers51: no . . . only your mum did that so she could send you to school
kyle939: not stupid pervert
Duckers51: i made it playing poker you retard
kyle939: thats cool
kyle939: loser
Duckers51: how am i the loser if you won’t even put ur money where your mouth is?
kyle939: im getting money from you and you arent touching me
kyle939: PERVERT
Duckers51: ummm, so you playing me heads up or not?
Duckers51: simple question
Duckers51: if not
Duckers51: i think you can shut the fuck up
kyle939: im not going anywhere with you
kyle939: PERVERT
kyle939: fuckster
kyle939: actually you suck duck person
kyle939: coulda been yours duck guy
kyle939: really duck guy
kyle939: you blow

kyle939 then doubled an opponent up with King-Queen versus King-Jack on a Jack-high board.

Duckers51: hahaha . . . ur an ATM kyle!
kyle939: really duck watch
kyle939: now i am crying duck fucker
kyle939: dont duck around
Duckers51: AAAATTTTTTTMMMMMMMMM
kyle939: just watch

Then this beautiful hand happened. From out of the small blind I opened with J♥ J♦ over kyle939’s limp. The flop fell J♠ 7♠ 7♣ and I check-raised kyle939’s bet before checking the 8♥ on the turn. kyle939 moved all-in, I double-fist-pump-snap called and his 3♠ 3♣ was left drawing dead.

Duckers51: BOOM mutha fucka!
kyle939: fuck off duck
Duckers51: you realise you had a pretty bad hand there kyle
Duckers51: threes are no good on that board you fish
kyle939: hey duck fucker blow a fish
kyle939: you will see i will get that little bit of $ back
Duckers51: then you can use it to get a haircut
kyle939: hey duck how do you know I need a hair cut
kyle939: are you watching me
Duckers51: yes kyle I am watching you play like a donkey and donate all your money to everyone
kyle939: lol
kyle939: and
Duckers51: and . . .you need a haircut to fix that ugly mug of yours!
kyle939: i will get it back freak
Duckers51: im the feak . . .? . . . have you looked int he mirror recently?
kyle939: lmao
kyle939: i got lots of time duck fucker
kyle939: and how do you fuck a duck
Duckers51: ur the one that keeps saying it, so i think u’d have a better understanding of bestiality
kyle939: chillout cause i will get your $
Duckers51: im going to take the money I won off you and rub it on your moms titties!
kyle939: no! That is fucking a cow not a bird
Duckers51: huh
kyle939: needledick
kyle939: your gross and someone should report you
Duckers51: ur the one that keeps saying FUCK every second word
Duckers51: dont worry
Duckers51: im going to bid you adieu
Duckers51: everyone . . . please take kyle the ATM to the cleaners
Duckers51: and then rub his money on his moms titties later tonight!

Now I bet you’re all thinking that you shouldn’t berate players that are playing $0.01-0.02c NLH because they’re obviously still learning, but I just couldn’t help myself.

I obviously was trying to level him with the $4k heads-up match, but it was just so enjoyable pissing him off. Didn’t he realise that if I actually did have $4k in my account, I would probably not be playing the smallest game available?

Well I got a good laugh out of it today, and hopefully you did too.

I just hope that Dad doesn’t mind if his chat gets banned!

It has been over ten days since I last blogged, but it’s not because I’ve been lazy or too busy, but because I’ve had nothing to blog about!

Last week was a terrible week for me on PKR as I spiralled downward hard and fast. Now I understand that downswings go hand in hand with upswings but last thing I couldn’t catch a break as everything and anything went wrong.

I admit that I did play bad at some points, but only quite minimally compared to the run-bad that I encountered. Maybe some people can identify with this, but after running my initial $500 up to $1,380-odd I decided to trial a tracking program called PokerOfficer. My accounted plummeted to $980 before I stopped using PokerOfficer and saw my account climb to over $1,400. I then – through the advice of some friends – downloaded Holdem Manager, and like in the previous instant, my account again spiralled downhill to below $1,000.

That downswing included one session where I lost nearly six buy-ins with my EV stating I should have only lost one buy-in. The other negative sessions also saw me run well below EV . . . but that’s poker right? I have been keeping track of the major hands that I’ve lost when I’ve been all in. Aces cracked 8 times, Kings 14, Queens 3, Jacks 5 and Sets 2 with most of these being on the flop. On the flipside, I’ve cracked Aces three times with standard coolers getting there with Kings and Tens, and only cracked Kings and Queens a combined three times.

Now that I’ve had close to a week away from the virtual felt, I have a few questions to pose to you before I return to PKR. What is my next step?

Should I continue playing $0.10-0.25c NLH?
Should I play a mix of $0.10-0.25c and $0.25-0.50c NLH?
Should I play only $0.25-0.50c NLH?
Should I continue to play solely full-ring?
Should I switch to solely six-handed?

Now I completely understand that my sample size of 15,000-odd hands isn’t much to go from, but I am just starting with online cash, so I definitely want to take steps in the right direction.

Your help is needed as I don’t want to see this ugly mountain continue to slide downhill!

I played at Crown a few nights ago.

The short story is that I played real terrible at the start to be in for three buy-ins on a $2-3 NLH table before kicking myself in the ass to play better and grind back to near even . . . only to donk it all off at about hour twelve of my session.

Following my live donk off and my downswing online, there was only one thing left to do.

. . . I grabbed the noose, hung it over the . . .

No. Just kidding.

Instead I made a few adjustments to my strategy and jumped back on the horse to continue to grind the $0.10-0.25c NLH tables.

So far things have been solid with the adjustments I’ve made helping me tighten up my leaks. Although the profit hasn’t fallen in droves as yet, I’m hoping that their just around the corner.

I do have a question for the Tilted Behaviour readers out there.

Is it possible to be playing $5-10 NLH on PKR by the time the WSOP rolls around?

I say it is possible if I continue to put in some high volume and run a little better than I have over the past couple of weeks. I do think it is unlikely though as most of the higher games are played only six-handed, and currently I tend to stay away from short-handed play because my strategy is a little too weak (I believe).

But for arguments sakes, here are the increases in limits on PKR; $0.25-0.50 ($10-$50 min and max buy-ins), $0.50-1 ($20-$100), $1-2 ($40-$200), $2-4 ($80-$400), $3-6 ($120-$600) and $5-10 ($200-$1000).

As most of you know I have been playing online solely at PKR.

I deposited $500 just before the end of last year and began playing $0.10-0.25c No Limit Holdem with an emphasis on full ring play ahead of six-handed. Although I have been running below EV, I have managed to run my account up to $1,380 playing solely NLH with maybe 300 hands of PLO and one tournament (which I cashed in).

With a move up limits to $0.25-0.50c just round the corner when I tip the $1,500 mark, I took a big step back over the past few days following some major run bad.

It started when I was playing in a Pot Limit Omaha Hi-Lo game where everyone just had no clue of how to play. Of course that didn’t matter because after 400-odd hands I had seen barely ten hands that had any chance of taking a low, while the rest were terrible high hands. The few times I got it in good I would somehow rivered for half the pot with someone holding a mighty A-J-9-6 for a low, or my complete wrap and flush draw would take the low as someone’s pocket tens took the high.

Basically it was an absolute terrible session where I lost three buy-ins before deciding that straight up Pot Limit Omaha would be the best option. That was a mistake too, as I lost a buy-in fairly quickly and decided to resort back to plain old boring $0.10-0.25c No Limit Holdem.

With four NLH tables up, I lost a buy-in fairly quickly and now definitely believed that it was going to be a shocking day. However things started to turn round when my 6♥ 6♣ were paid off by 10♦ 10♠ on the river on a board of 4♣ 5♣ 6♦ 6♠ 4♦, then my A♦ Q♦ for top-top was paid off on the turn by 10♥ 10♣. Combined with three straights for smallish pots and I managed to scrape some poker dignity and bankroll back.

Unfortunately just a day later it would all turn to shit once again seeing my bankroll fall to just below the $1,000 mark after some more run bad and bad play.

Unlike the previous negative session, I began this one with $0.10-0.25c No Limit Holdem but over the course of 300 hands I dropped four buy-ins.

The first was pretty amusing (not) as the biggest pot I won was just $3.38 while I lost plenty including running into two sets of overpairs, a flopped flush, a bigger full house and many more I really don’t fell like re-living!

I then decided to gamble a little and took a seat in a $0.50-1 Pot Limit Omaha game and after running into a bigger full house and being forced to top up I lost my whole stack when I was rivered holding K♠ J♣ 9♣ 9♠ by Q♦ 10♦ 10♠ 4♦ on a board that ran out A♦ Q♠ 10♣ 4♦ 7♦.

I can’t really explain why I’m in such a huge downswing.

Maybe it’s just countering against my upswing or maybe because I recently downloaded some tracking software – PokerOfficer – and started testing out HUD as well as being able to review my session history.

I do know however that there is only one thing I can do . . . and that’s just getting back to the basics of playing solid poker and grinding out hundreds of hands for profit so that I can replenish my bankroll and hopefully take the next step few steps in improving my game and moving up limits.

I wasn’t expecting to play anymore live poker for the week, but I guess I was wrong.

Driving up on Friday afternoon, I headed to the airport to pick up my cousin and his girlfriend from the airport. It was part thank-you for letting me stay at their house, part another reason to play at Crown, and part I didn’t want them to shell out the money to grab a cab.

After unloading the car once back at theirs, I made my way to Crown and found a seat on a $2-3 NLH table.

I had chipped up to around $250 on a table that featured a bunch of weak passive players who really struggled post-flop when this hand came up. Everyone limped in, and I did so on the button with J♦ 9♣ to see a flop of Q♦ 5♣ 9♦ fall and a bet of $10 follow from one of the limpers. This player had turned over a few ‘unique’ hands where he had barrelled bottom-pair etc, so his bet didn’t seem overly strong to me. A first time player made the call, before I bumped it to $37. The flop aggressor called as did the noob before I dinged the 9♠ on the turn.

Very comfortable with where I now sat in the hand, it shocked me to see the aggressor fire out (after just calling on the flop) $25. The noob called and I thought for a little before making it $68 to go and was instantly snapped off before the noob passed.

The river landed the 6♥ and I was met with an instant announcement of a bet of $100 as my now lone opponent in the hand fumbled while cutting down the amount to call.

I sat in the tank for around three minutes trying to decipher the whole hand. I couldn’t factor him to have a better nine, but more likely held a busted draw or even just a Queen. Eventually I called and internally puked when he rolled over his 8♠ 7♥ for a rivered gutshot to leave me with just $40 and send me to my wallet to top up.

Reviewing the hand, I think I bet the turn way too small, but either way I managed to add a further $200 to my stack the next hand when my two-pair held up against two players top pair.

Eventually though I got my now favourite opponent back when I opened from late position holding A♣ 10♥ and was flatted by the button and my nemesis from the big blind. The flop fell down K♠ Q♥ J♠ and I was faced with a donked out $20 bet in which I just called as the button folded. The turn landed the 6♣ and he fired out $30 in which I just called. The river landed the ugly 9♣ and my nemesis fired out $25. I exchanged some friendly banter before splashing the pot with a bet of $140.

He immediately called, rolled over Q♦ J♥, and I scooped the pot to put my stack upwards of $650.

I decided to call the session to an end when I double a short-stack up with a weaker top-pair to eventually cash out up just under $200 for the session before Mat made his way to Crown and we decided to see the new movie Daybreakers . . . if you like Vampires or need an occasional startle in a dark room then go see it.

I headed into Crown at the early time of 10am to test my luck in the Saturday morning $25 rebuy donkament.

I tried to enjoy the rebuy period and was all in at least ten times with five of them being without looking at my cards. After the rebuy period was over, I had spent $100 and had just over a 3,000-chip stack courtesy of a late triple up holding 10♠ 10♣.

Once we returned after the break, the levels picked up and facing a short-stack’s all in, I pushed with 5♦ 5♥ and was called by the big stack’s K♥ Q♥. The short-stack held tens, and once a Queen flopped, it was over as I was bundled out in 45th of the 72 starters.

Heading to a $2-3 NLH table I played for nearly five hours getting up $50, then losing $100, getting up $50, then losing $100. Eventually I decided that it wasn’t going to be a good day and walked out (thankfully) up $50 and made my way back home.

I was expecting to be writing this blog post recapping my ANZPT preliminary results from the comfort of my hotel room in Adelaide . . . but unfortunately I’m about 711 kilometres away sitting at my desk at home.

Some of you may be wondering why I’m not in Adelaide . . . maybe it’s because I’m busto, or sick, or too lazy to drive / fly / walk to Adelaide after a semi-hectic Aussie Millions . . . but you would all be wrong!

David Galpin is the one to blame.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think David is a great bloke and tournament director, and I happily shared a few beers with him in a karaoke room once the inaugural ANZPT wrapped up last year, but he is the reason why I’m not in Adelaide.

It all started when he posted the structures to the full ANZPT Adelaide series in the PokerNetwork Forum. There were six events on the schedule that I was looking at playing with three of them being a lock. Event 1: Industry PLO Rebuy, Event 3: Industry NLH Freeze-Out and Event 6: NLH Bounty.

Before jet-setting to Adelaide I decided to just check that I qualified for Poker Industry by asking him in the thread . . .this was his response.

Hi Tim,

David Galpin

I obviously was a little annoyed by his response as I believe that I – without being egotistical – am in the top tier of the poker industry.

In their structure sheets these ‘Industry’ events have the following information.

This event is only available to employees of the Australasian Casino or Poker
Industry. Entrants will need to be ACTION cardholders and have proof of
employment and photographic identification

I quoted this in the same thread but David hasn’t replied.

It just totally baffles me what the ‘Poker Industry’ is and why people such as me don’t qualify. Either it is false advertising if it is meant for just casino employees or the two people that do qualify for ‘Poker Industry’ must be the two luckiest people I’ve never heard of!

Of course I’m disappointed that I’m not able to make it to Adelaide to play cards with some of my mates who deal at Crown, but there is nothing I can do about it until next year.

The fact that David is actually turning people down from an events that are likely to get no more than 50 people astounds me because isn’t one of his roles as a Tournament Director to get more people into the poker room playing tournaments and turning over rake in cash games . . . maybe things are truly upside down in Adelaide.

What also makes me laugh about the whole situation is that David personally contacted me the other week in reference to a piece I wrote on this very website a year ago; The Eight Points of Enlightenment: ANZPT Adelaide. He wanted some details that I probably shouldn’t discuss publicly about conducting the tournament and ways to improve it, but with knowledge that I manage a poker website (kind of) it surely just provides more grounds for ‘Poker Industry’.

Although detailing this situation and my feelings on the issue may seem inappropriate to some, I believe that it needed to be said and be public knowledge (and also takes a huge weight off my chest).

Edit: Congratulations to friends and fellow ex-PokerNews employees Dane Jensen and Shane Beckham for taking out events in Adelaide.

Dane started with a third-place finish in Event 1: Industry $70 Pot Limit Omaha with $40 rebuys for a $1,055 collect before capturing the Event 3: Industry $265 NLH Freeze-Out title for a $5,635 payday.

Shane managed to win the Event 2: Turbo Charity Rebuy event where, after a heavy contribution of the prizepool, he collected $480 for his efforts.

Great effort boys!

With the Aussie Millions over, it now leaves me more time to play, and consequently I decided to stay down in Melbourne for a few extra days to hit the felt.

By the time I had fully recovered from the copious amount of alcohol I had drunk the previous night I eventually found my way into the Crown Poker Room and on a $2-3 NLH table.

It was fairly uneventful as I grinded away for over two hours for $39 in profit before being convinced by friend / ex-PokerNews colleague / Crown’s best dealer / (potentially) Crown’s best tournament director Anthony ‘Slippers’ Molinaro to play the $65 Melbourne Championships.

Just like a typical Crown Step One satellite the structure was fairly fast and I just played a solid game to see the starting 17 quickly chomped down to just a final table. From then on I picked up the aggression and slowly accumulated a stack to see me capture one of the $250 Step Two seats.

I jumped back on a $2-3 NLH table, but started to get a little tired and decided to take my $11 profit and head home for the night.

Heading in early to play the $50 plus single $25 rebuy tournament at 10am I was surprised to see a further 54 players also get out of bed early to make the trip down to Crown.

I chipped up to around 4k from my 1,500 starting stack when I virtually doubled without a showdown holding Kings and took a few pots down on the flop in a raised pot. Just before the first break I opened 425 with blinds at 100-200 holding A♦ J♦ and was flatted by someone a few seats along before the big blind moved all in for 725. I decided to ship it all in and was quickly snapped off after being trapped with Aces.

Left with around 1,000 it was folded right round when I was in the big blind before I kept shoving from the small blind thereafter as the blinds kicked up to 200-400. Unfortunately my 10♥ 9♥ from middle position ran into the Ace-Queen and Ace-King of the blinds and I was out in 32nd place.

While waiting for a cash game I got in touch with Heath and we decided that we would have a hit of tennis or play online from his apartment across the road.

Kirsty needed to head into the city, so we decided to join her as we lugged round the CBD in the sweltering hot Melbourne sun.

Returning to their apartment I eventually convinced Heath to play the nightly $60 Turbo tournament at Crown and we made our way down to the poker room to find fellow PokerNetwork / PokerNews blogger Landon Blackhall and his dad also participating in the donkament.

Heath busted in about three hands while I grinded away before the blinds picked up and I shoved 8 bb’s with pocket fives only to run into Aces to bust out in 70th/98 place.

With Heath tying a noose somewhere, I sat down on a $1-2 NLH table but over the course of two hours ran into Aces, set into overset and a few other disgusting hands to finish down $200 and on my way out the door.

My final session for the first half of the week saw me venture into the poker room in the afternoon.

Sitting down at a $2-3 NLH table full of regular mid-week players, I was fairly card dead before getting involved in the wrong side of a pot to force myself to top-up an additional $150.

It would be a very wise decision because I few hands later I called a $15 raise from out of the big blind with A♦ 8♦ to see a flop of 7♦ 5♦ 4♦ flop fall with a pot of $90 in the middle. I checked, the player in middle position bet out $25 and only the original raiser called before I check-raised to $65. The flop aggressor moved all in, the original raiser folded and I called.

He rolled over his Q♦ 9♦ and that was that as I cashed out $467 after another orbit to register just over $115 in profit for the session before heading to Heath and Kirsty’s to play some tennis.

We played a best of three round robin series, and after nearly pulling a hammy when chasing down one of my drop shots, Heath never stood a chance against either Kirsty or me.

Heath didn’t any of his four matches, while Kirsty went 2-2 and me 4-0 before we called it a night as I made my way back to Geelong.

Probably the best thing about the Aussie Millions is without doubt the series ending Farewell Party!

It is a time for dealers, media and players to let their hair down and party hard on Crown’s wallet . . . and year after year that wallet gets pushed to the edge.

Driving up from Crown I met up with Heath as we made our way into Fusion and quickly grabbed a beer from one of the gorgeous waitresses. Surrounded by dealers we eventually found some common friends before the rest of the PokerNews clan rolled in along with some fellow poker buddies.

Basically the night revolved around lots of drinks, heaps of photos and conversations about poker before the bar-tab eventually ran out and people started shuffling elsewhere.

With the night still fairly young – 2am – me and Alex decided that we would pay a visit to the Teak Room to cash in a $25 free play voucher that I had received in the mail. Alex had a smoke, and I couldn’t resist the lure of the Baccarat tables and decided to gamboooool it up for a little.

Maybe thirty minutes later and up $150 we headed down to the poker room to continue our sobering-up by taking a seat on the $0.50-1 PokerPro table. Alex ran hot, I got rivered seventeen times and took by beat-up negative $100 ass to the real felt of a $2-3 NLH table.

I never got anything going but still managed to profit $40 on the table which meant I finished up for the night before eventually feeling sober enough to drive home.