tilted behaviour

Due to my interest in poker over the last few years, it was always inevitable that my Dad would develop an interest too.

Recently he made a small deposit on PokerStars but hasn’t been able to get any rhythm and settle in a limit where he can develop his skills and make some money. He understands the basics of the game, but of course, is still a basic amateur.

Over the last few weeks he hasn’t been able to play too much, and I think this was mainly due to time, but also the fact that his relatively small starting bankroll is a little depleted.

I logged on under Duckers51 to see how much he had left, and after seeing a shocking three bucks and change, I decided to try and run it up for him. Since that day I’ve played a few $1.15 Double-or-Nothing sit-n-goes while sometimes short-stacking some $0.01-0.02c NLH to see the account reach a high of nearly triple what I started with.

Now don’t worry, I’m not going to share hand histories from $0.01-0.02c NLH or bad beat stories, but instead share a chat-off I had with a player by the name of kyle939.

Basically it all started after I was dealt A♣ K♦ and check-raised all-in on a A♥ 4♣ 4♦ flop, and kyle939 made the call with J♦ 5♦ and made a backdoor flush to force me to rebuy.

Duckers51: tell me, what were you thinking when you called with Jack-high?
Duckers51: did you think you were ahead when I check-raised you all in?
Duckers51: or . . . was it that you’re a complete donkey with a faggot haricut that feels like being a donkey?
kyle939: you are a dick
kyle939: i’ve only been playing 1 month
Duckers51: yeah obviously
Duckers51: and you’ll be broke in another month
kyle939: hey duck you are a dick
Duckers51: i don’t mind that you think that, but you still didnt answer my questions
kyle939: hey mallard do you know anything
kyle939: the duckman blows
Duckers51: i know more than you
kyle939: why do you suck
Duckers51: how do I suck? You hit a runner-runner flush like a fish
kyle939: way to go fuck

I then managed to double when my Q♠ J♣ held up against kyle939’s A♥ J♥ when I moved all-in on a Q♦ 8♠ 8♥ flop.

Duckers51: well played fish
Duckers51: the money you just gave me could have been used to get yourself a haircut
kyle939: stop crying
kyle939: maybe in Mexico
Duckers51: maybe from a hobo that lives on your street
kyle939: can’t get a haircut in the real world for less than $15
kyle939: DORK
Duckers51: how would you know? doesn’t seem like uv ever had one!
kyle939: ya play i will take your money dick
Duckers51: well lets play higher stakes
Duckers51: how much money you got?
kyle939: I’m up all night duck fuck
Duckers51: does that random statement have a point?
kyle939: hey duck in the mouth lets play
Duckers51: how much money you got on this site?
Duckers51: I got 4k, so you wanna play $5-10 NLH?
Duckers51: i’ll start a table, come find me
kyle939: your cool
Duckers51: thanks
Duckers51: so is that a yes
Duckers51: or are you wussing out?
kyle939: what did you do blow someone for that
Duckers51: no . . . only your mum did that so she could send you to school
kyle939: not stupid pervert
Duckers51: i made it playing poker you retard
kyle939: thats cool
kyle939: loser
Duckers51: how am i the loser if you won’t even put ur money where your mouth is?
kyle939: im getting money from you and you arent touching me
kyle939: PERVERT
Duckers51: ummm, so you playing me heads up or not?
Duckers51: simple question
Duckers51: if not
Duckers51: i think you can shut the fuck up
kyle939: im not going anywhere with you
kyle939: PERVERT
kyle939: fuckster
kyle939: actually you suck duck person
kyle939: coulda been yours duck guy
kyle939: really duck guy
kyle939: you blow

kyle939 then doubled an opponent up with King-Queen versus King-Jack on a Jack-high board.

Duckers51: hahaha . . . ur an ATM kyle!
kyle939: really duck watch
kyle939: now i am crying duck fucker
kyle939: dont duck around
Duckers51: AAAATTTTTTTMMMMMMMMM
kyle939: just watch

Then this beautiful hand happened. From out of the small blind I opened with J♥ J♦ over kyle939’s limp. The flop fell J♠ 7♠ 7♣ and I check-raised kyle939’s bet before checking the 8♥ on the turn. kyle939 moved all-in, I double-fist-pump-snap called and his 3♠ 3♣ was left drawing dead.

Duckers51: BOOM mutha fucka!
kyle939: fuck off duck
Duckers51: you realise you had a pretty bad hand there kyle
Duckers51: threes are no good on that board you fish
kyle939: hey duck fucker blow a fish
kyle939: you will see i will get that little bit of $ back
Duckers51: then you can use it to get a haircut
kyle939: hey duck how do you know I need a hair cut
kyle939: are you watching me
Duckers51: yes kyle I am watching you play like a donkey and donate all your money to everyone
kyle939: lol
kyle939: and
Duckers51: and . . .you need a haircut to fix that ugly mug of yours!
kyle939: i will get it back freak
Duckers51: im the feak . . .? . . . have you looked int he mirror recently?
kyle939: lmao
kyle939: i got lots of time duck fucker
kyle939: and how do you fuck a duck
Duckers51: ur the one that keeps saying it, so i think u’d have a better understanding of bestiality
kyle939: chillout cause i will get your $
Duckers51: im going to take the money I won off you and rub it on your moms titties!
kyle939: no! That is fucking a cow not a bird
Duckers51: huh
kyle939: needledick
kyle939: your gross and someone should report you
Duckers51: ur the one that keeps saying FUCK every second word
Duckers51: dont worry
Duckers51: im going to bid you adieu
Duckers51: everyone . . . please take kyle the ATM to the cleaners
Duckers51: and then rub his money on his moms titties later tonight!

Now I bet you’re all thinking that you shouldn’t berate players that are playing $0.01-0.02c NLH because they’re obviously still learning, but I just couldn’t help myself.

I obviously was trying to level him with the $4k heads-up match, but it was just so enjoyable pissing him off. Didn’t he realise that if I actually did have $4k in my account, I would probably not be playing the smallest game available?

Well I got a good laugh out of it today, and hopefully you did too.

I just hope that Dad doesn’t mind if his chat gets banned!

It has been over ten days since I last blogged, but it’s not because I’ve been lazy or too busy, but because I’ve had nothing to blog about!

Last week was a terrible week for me on PKR as I spiralled downward hard and fast. Now I understand that downswings go hand in hand with upswings but last thing I couldn’t catch a break as everything and anything went wrong.

I admit that I did play bad at some points, but only quite minimally compared to the run-bad that I encountered. Maybe some people can identify with this, but after running my initial $500 up to $1,380-odd I decided to trial a tracking program called PokerOfficer. My accounted plummeted to $980 before I stopped using PokerOfficer and saw my account climb to over $1,400. I then – through the advice of some friends – downloaded Holdem Manager, and like in the previous instant, my account again spiralled downhill to below $1,000.

That downswing included one session where I lost nearly six buy-ins with my EV stating I should have only lost one buy-in. The other negative sessions also saw me run well below EV . . . but that’s poker right? I have been keeping track of the major hands that I’ve lost when I’ve been all in. Aces cracked 8 times, Kings 14, Queens 3, Jacks 5 and Sets 2 with most of these being on the flop. On the flipside, I’ve cracked Aces three times with standard coolers getting there with Kings and Tens, and only cracked Kings and Queens a combined three times.

Now that I’ve had close to a week away from the virtual felt, I have a few questions to pose to you before I return to PKR. What is my next step?

Should I continue playing $0.10-0.25c NLH?
Should I play a mix of $0.10-0.25c and $0.25-0.50c NLH?
Should I play only $0.25-0.50c NLH?
Should I continue to play solely full-ring?
Should I switch to solely six-handed?

Now I completely understand that my sample size of 15,000-odd hands isn’t much to go from, but I am just starting with online cash, so I definitely want to take steps in the right direction.

Your help is needed as I don’t want to see this ugly mountain continue to slide downhill!

I played at Crown a few nights ago.

The short story is that I played real terrible at the start to be in for three buy-ins on a $2-3 NLH table before kicking myself in the ass to play better and grind back to near even . . . only to donk it all off at about hour twelve of my session.

Following my live donk off and my downswing online, there was only one thing left to do.

. . . I grabbed the noose, hung it over the . . .

No. Just kidding.

Instead I made a few adjustments to my strategy and jumped back on the horse to continue to grind the $0.10-0.25c NLH tables.

So far things have been solid with the adjustments I’ve made helping me tighten up my leaks. Although the profit hasn’t fallen in droves as yet, I’m hoping that their just around the corner.

I do have a question for the Tilted Behaviour readers out there.

Is it possible to be playing $5-10 NLH on PKR by the time the WSOP rolls around?

I say it is possible if I continue to put in some high volume and run a little better than I have over the past couple of weeks. I do think it is unlikely though as most of the higher games are played only six-handed, and currently I tend to stay away from short-handed play because my strategy is a little too weak (I believe).

But for arguments sakes, here are the increases in limits on PKR; $0.25-0.50 ($10-$50 min and max buy-ins), $0.50-1 ($20-$100), $1-2 ($40-$200), $2-4 ($80-$400), $3-6 ($120-$600) and $5-10 ($200-$1000).

As most of you know I have been playing online solely at PKR.

I deposited $500 just before the end of last year and began playing $0.10-0.25c No Limit Holdem with an emphasis on full ring play ahead of six-handed. Although I have been running below EV, I have managed to run my account up to $1,380 playing solely NLH with maybe 300 hands of PLO and one tournament (which I cashed in).

With a move up limits to $0.25-0.50c just round the corner when I tip the $1,500 mark, I took a big step back over the past few days following some major run bad.

It started when I was playing in a Pot Limit Omaha Hi-Lo game where everyone just had no clue of how to play. Of course that didn’t matter because after 400-odd hands I had seen barely ten hands that had any chance of taking a low, while the rest were terrible high hands. The few times I got it in good I would somehow rivered for half the pot with someone holding a mighty A-J-9-6 for a low, or my complete wrap and flush draw would take the low as someone’s pocket tens took the high.

Basically it was an absolute terrible session where I lost three buy-ins before deciding that straight up Pot Limit Omaha would be the best option. That was a mistake too, as I lost a buy-in fairly quickly and decided to resort back to plain old boring $0.10-0.25c No Limit Holdem.

With four NLH tables up, I lost a buy-in fairly quickly and now definitely believed that it was going to be a shocking day. However things started to turn round when my 6♥ 6♣ were paid off by 10♦ 10♠ on the river on a board of 4♣ 5♣ 6♦ 6♠ 4♦, then my A♦ Q♦ for top-top was paid off on the turn by 10♥ 10♣. Combined with three straights for smallish pots and I managed to scrape some poker dignity and bankroll back.

Unfortunately just a day later it would all turn to shit once again seeing my bankroll fall to just below the $1,000 mark after some more run bad and bad play.

Unlike the previous negative session, I began this one with $0.10-0.25c No Limit Holdem but over the course of 300 hands I dropped four buy-ins.

The first was pretty amusing (not) as the biggest pot I won was just $3.38 while I lost plenty including running into two sets of overpairs, a flopped flush, a bigger full house and many more I really don’t fell like re-living!

I then decided to gamble a little and took a seat in a $0.50-1 Pot Limit Omaha game and after running into a bigger full house and being forced to top up I lost my whole stack when I was rivered holding K♠ J♣ 9♣ 9♠ by Q♦ 10♦ 10♠ 4♦ on a board that ran out A♦ Q♠ 10♣ 4♦ 7♦.

I can’t really explain why I’m in such a huge downswing.

Maybe it’s just countering against my upswing or maybe because I recently downloaded some tracking software – PokerOfficer – and started testing out HUD as well as being able to review my session history.

I do know however that there is only one thing I can do . . . and that’s just getting back to the basics of playing solid poker and grinding out hundreds of hands for profit so that I can replenish my bankroll and hopefully take the next step few steps in improving my game and moving up limits.

I wasn’t having a good session playing cash on PKR, and just before I logged off I stumbled across a nightly $12 six-handed tournament and decided to register.

98 players ended up playing the tournament . . . but I’m not going to bore you about the details of how I got to the final table, or my interesting hands, but instead show you something neat about PKR.

After (unfortunately) losing the heads-up battle when my shove with sevens was snapped-off by Queen-Ten and an obvious Queen fell, the PKR user interface launched into a celebration.

Firstly my opponent oneplaner’s avatar stood up and started dancing wildly before cash started raining down onto the table and the surrounding stage area.

Although I wasn’t satisfied with the $199.92 payday in comparison to the $329.28 first place, the enjoyable celebration did cheer me up slightly as it is something that I haven’t witnessed on any other online sites before . . . well to this degree anyway!

I didn’t blog about it, but the other day during the PokerNews Cup I busted my whole Full Tilt Poker account.

It wasn’t that much – just a few hundred dollars that had been owed to me a while back – that I had been using to play cash games and the occasional sit-n-go. However the night I went busto it was like a DOOMSWITCH had been flicked.

I was completely bored and decided to open up a Matrix tourney (four sit-n-go’s at once with points being allocated on finishing place on each table with a piece of the prizepool being paid out to the top three finishers) and proceeded to bust on all four on the first hand. It was just unbelievable – I wasn’t just shipping any old hand, but was actually dealt hands; Ace-King on one, Queens on another, straight and flush draw on another and two pair on the final one. GG Matrix!

Not really on tilt, but just surprised, I attempted to sit down at a HORSE or 7-game ring game but nothing was running. Instead I found a $2-4 HORSE heads-up table with a guy sitting down with just $60, and consequently decided to join him . . . BAD MOVE!

I proceeded to lose every pot against him. In Holdem I would have him dominated Ace-Queen to Queen Jack on a Queen-high flop, but somehow a Jack would fall everytime! I would brick every nut low draw in Omaha Hi-Lo, and all my high hands would be run down somehow. In Razz I would have an six-five and he would hit a runner-runner six-four to scoop, and this continued in the Stud orbits too.

After donating somewhere near $150 to him, I just headed to a No Limit Holdem table and proceeded to move all in every hand hoping to get lucky and double, or just bust my account and end the night . . . result . . . busted account!

Consequently with no desire to deposit on Full Tilt I’ve just been playing the Australian Poker Hero freerolls until recently discovering the FTP’s tournaments and sit-n-go’s.

With seats into the $750k Guaranteed being given away for as little as 40 FTP, I decided that it would be a good test to see if I could not only win one of these FTP satellites but also cash in the tournament to start rebuilding my bankroll.

After numerous final tables in both the freerolls and FTP satellites, I eventually reaped some reward when I finished runner-up in a 50 FTP satellite, before winning a 40 FTP SupTurbo Satellite to see me win a seat into the $250,000 GTD in a week where first prize is at least US$26,250.

Hopefully I can turn just 40FTP into some nice and welcomed MOOLAH after besting an 1135-player field in the 300-starting bank super turbo!

Cobwebs are building, dust is settling and tumbleweeds are rolling round the once-heavily updated site that is Tilted Behaviour . . . but finally I have awoken from my slumber to pen something.

The past few weeks have been fairly quiet just hanging out with mates, donking off in home games, watching movies and playing soccer; however the one thing that has been consistent is the hours I’ve been logging online.

With the The Race To 10k nearly over with Heath logging some great results, I’ve still managed to find the motivation to grind tournaments online at Full Tilt – with some half-decent results to match! I may have only managed eight cashes but all of these have come in giant 700-plus fields with a recent 264th from 3882 in the $750,000 Guarantee and a 3rd from 650 in the $14,000 Guarantee.

I enjoy playing these big field tournaments because the reward is so much greater with first place netting upwards of $4,000 most times for just a buy-in of $24+2. However every time I sneak into the money I’m always low on chips and just grind to a mid-cash . . . which is starting to get really annoying! It’s a tough situation as I’m not exactly sure what to do to rectify this, but am still reviewing hand history’s of some of my deep results to see if there are any middle game leaks . . . answer: find aces many many many times!

My cash game play has also increased, often four-tabling and short-stacking 25c-50c NLH 6-max looking to make a buy-in or two. I seem to be playing fairly solid, and aren’t trying anything to tricky – occasionally running good and seeing my hands hold up (which is always a good sight). I have no need or urge to step up limits, and enjoy playing this level without too much pressure to make fortune; but instead just turn over a few quid.

Either way I feel I’m playing well when I’m in the right mood, mindset and nowhere near on tilt! It’s only a matter of time before I can capture that next big result, whether it is online or at the upcoming ANZPT Sydney or WSOP in June/July.

See you there!!!

Around 11 months or so ago Full Tilt decided to close my online account due to alleged multi-accounting because my backer logged in from Malaysia while I was in the middle of five tournaments! We got the money back, but the timing couldn’t have been worse as I was just finding my groove online with two consecutive 750k guarantee cashes and three locked up FTOPS seats.

My backer and I moved on, but haven’t played online since with any real purpose (with an occasional $50 deposit here and there chasing bonuses and promotions). With The Race To 10k heating up and my increased involved in ChipMeUp I decided that I needed to get some money online to dabble back in the 12-tabling of old!

With US$1,000 on Full Tilt and people snapping up my stakes on ChipMeUp, a steady stream of deposits came trickling into my accounts. Consequently I decided to try and get most of them into my PokerStars account after reading an article in the recent Bluff USA edition about satelliting to the WSOP via the PokerStars Step Satellites. These Step Satellites are basically a series of SNG’s starting as cheap as $7.50, where the first / final prize is a package to a desired tournament; and in this case the 2009 World Series of Poker.

So far I’ve been somewhat successful cashing at a rate of 55% reaching a single Step 3 (sigh – busted early when I ran second nut flush into full house and then A♠ K♠ into Kings and eventually pushed with A-9 and lost a flip), along with a handful of Step 2’s after 18 games.

PokerStars Step Satellites Lobby

People say that playing online can be a real grind and I definitely agree. Accordingly I’m only loading a few tables at once and only playing when I feel in a good mood. I have to admit that I’m playing these SNG’s (disregarding how easy people say the first few steps are) really well, making very few, if any, mistakes so far. Hopefully in the coming weeks I can start to pick things up and make that $2,100 Step 6 and take down an entry into my second WSOP!

I decided to sit down and watch a movie the other night and settled on Step Up 2: The Streets from the limited collection Foxtel was able to provide to me at 3am. Basically its a sequel to Step Up about some kids that dance in crews and basically bust some cool moves.

I’m not going to bore you with the plot and how the two main characters fall in love in the final scene, but instead show you the coolest part of the movie (in my opinion). Adam Sevani plays Robert “Moose” Alexander III, and for his portrayal was praised by The New York Times as being “the baddest nerd in movie history”. In the following scene he busts out a freestyle dance to one of my favourite songs on the steps of his school – whether you think its lame or not, for us old-timers some classic Michael Jackson at the end blows the scene up!

Moose Stair Dance

I think nearly everyone that will at one point read a word on this site probably can’t dance (just like me), but you have to admit that there is some appreciation for these hip-hop / crank / RnB / freestyle dancers that can just pull moves whenever they want to put us non-dancing robots to shame!

Yeah, your eyes are probably rolling at how lame you think it is that I like a ‘dance’ movie but don’t worry the Joe Hachem Deep Stack Series starts on Sunday, so it will be back to poker from here on in!