By the time I had fully recovered from the copious amount of alcohol I had drunk the previous night I eventually found my way into the Crown Poker Room and on a $2-3 NLH table.

It was fairly uneventful as I grinded away for over two hours for $39 in profit before being convinced by friend / ex-PokerNews colleague / Crown’s best dealer / (potentially) Crown’s best tournament director Anthony ‘Slippers’ Molinaro to play the $65 Melbourne Championships.

Just like a typical Crown Step One satellite the structure was fairly fast and I just played a solid game to see the starting 17 quickly chomped down to just a final table. From then on I picked up the aggression and slowly accumulated a stack to see me capture one of the $250 Step Two seats.

I jumped back on a $2-3 NLH table, but started to get a little tired and decided to take my $11 profit and head home for the night.

Heading in early to play the $50 plus single $25 rebuy tournament at 10am I was surprised to see a further 54 players also get out of bed early to make the trip down to Crown.

I chipped up to around 4k from my 1,500 starting stack when I virtually doubled without a showdown holding Kings and took a few pots down on the flop in a raised pot. Just before the first break I opened 425 with blinds at 100-200 holding A♦ J♦ and was flatted by someone a few seats along before the big blind moved all in for 725. I decided to ship it all in and was quickly snapped off after being trapped with Aces.

Left with around 1,000 it was folded right round when I was in the big blind before I kept shoving from the small blind thereafter as the blinds kicked up to 200-400. Unfortunately my 10♥ 9♥ from middle position ran into the Ace-Queen and Ace-King of the blinds and I was out in 32nd place.

While waiting for a cash game I got in touch with Heath and we decided that we would have a hit of tennis or play online from his apartment across the road.

Kirsty needed to head into the city, so we decided to join her as we lugged round the CBD in the sweltering hot Melbourne sun.

Returning to their apartment I eventually convinced Heath to play the nightly $60 Turbo tournament at Crown and we made our way down to the poker room to find fellow PokerNetwork / PokerNews blogger Landon Blackhall and his dad also participating in the donkament.

Heath busted in about three hands while I grinded away before the blinds picked up and I shoved 8 bb’s with pocket fives only to run into Aces to bust out in 70th/98 place.

With Heath tying a noose somewhere, I sat down on a $1-2 NLH table but over the course of two hours ran into Aces, set into overset and a few other disgusting hands to finish down $200 and on my way out the door.

My final session for the first half of the week saw me venture into the poker room in the afternoon.

Sitting down at a $2-3 NLH table full of regular mid-week players, I was fairly card dead before getting involved in the wrong side of a pot to force myself to top-up an additional $150.

It would be a very wise decision because I few hands later I called a $15 raise from out of the big blind with A♦ 8♦ to see a flop of 7♦ 5♦ 4♦ flop fall with a pot of $90 in the middle. I checked, the player in middle position bet out $25 and only the original raiser called before I check-raised to $65. The flop aggressor moved all in, the original raiser folded and I called.

He rolled over his Q♦ 9♦ and that was that as I cashed out $467 after another orbit to register just over $115 in profit for the session before heading to Heath and Kirsty’s to play some tennis.

We played a best of three round robin series, and after nearly pulling a hammy when chasing down one of my drop shots, Heath never stood a chance against either Kirsty or me.

Heath didn’t any of his four matches, while Kirsty went 2-2 and me 4-0 before we called it a night as I made my way back to Geelong.

I busted relatively early when I three-bet all in from the big blind holding A♠ K♠ but ran into Kings. Bricked out, and the next hand I decided to commit by two bb stack with 7♦ 8♦ but bricked out against some rags.

I decided to play some $1-2 NLH to fill in the time and after about two hours my stack had moved from the original $80 buy-in to fluctuate around the $220 mark. I then proceeded to lose every hand for the next hour until I had slipped to around $120.

Then, after being dealt Q♦ 3♦ on the button I three-bet all in on a 7♦ 2♦ 3♠ flop and was met with a lone call from the original flop better. The turn landed a 3♣ and I leaned over to my mate Oatsy telling him that that was a good card for me. The river was a blank and as my opponent – who had been there since the night before – looked up at me I rolled over my three. He rolled over a seven, and both me and Oatsy looked at each other and just shook our heads knowing the outcome. I rolled my Queen and he rolled another seven to take the pot down.

I rebought and the following hand floated with bottom pair and eighteen backdoor draws. I turned trips, got it in, but again ran into top set and was forced to rebuy once again.

My third buy-in went nowhere and I decided to play the PokerNews Cup Super Satellite that I had some luck in the other day.

I took my seat in the forty-three player field and started donking early. I had $200 to have some fun with and use to get off tilt. After getting stacked three times I decided to switch it up by letting the dealer play one card and myself the other.

Good meant paint, mmmm meant sixish to ninish and a swift shake of the head meant terrible. If we both said good I moved all in, and if we both said mmmm I limped hoping we had a pair or a suited connecter.

I managed getting to the end of the rebuy period with around 5,000 in chips and after having a quick chat with Michael ‘TheBigSiCkO’ Guzzardi he decided to do my $150 triple add-on and consequently take 50% of my action – although the percentage was incorrect I didn’t mind too much as I was hoping his share on me might change my day’s luck.

From thirty left to about twenty or so I played very solid, picking my spots wisely but was still unable to accumulate due to the high blinds. I found a double when I pushed Q♥ 10♥ and doubled through against eights. I then knocked out a player with Kings against Queens as we broke into two tables. The first hand of the next table I re-shoved holding Aces and knocked another player out to have one of the top few chip counts – not that it meant too much due to the quick levels and high blinds.

Having position on Guzzardi didn’t mean too much as we were trying to stay out of each other’s way, and in the meantime I managed to double up the same player twice as Guzzardi dispatched of Lisa Walsh as we hit the final table.

With the four chip leaders sitting in the nine, ten, one and two seat, I drew seat three, but having Guzzardi in the two seat would hopefully help in discouraging people from stealing my blinds.

I was unable to catch a single thing on the final table, and with four seats up for grabs plus cash I was extremely focused on winning another seat. With blinds at 2,000-4,000 I pushed for my last 11,000 holding Ace-King and was snapped by the small blind with Jack-nine while the big blind threw in his last 2,000 holding Ace-four.

The flop of Jack-Ten-Nine saw be drawing to just four outs and on the verge of being eliminated, but when a repeat ten landed on the turn I added a further six outs, but alas, it was to no avail as the river landed another ten and I busted in sixth place – one short of the money and two from another seat.

BRAIN SPASM TIME

Holding my two hole cards I just kept shaking my head lamenting at yet another PokerNews Cup Main Event bubble and just clenched my fists together due to me being more pissed off then I can ever recall (poker sense that is)!

Not realising I had the cards still in my hand, I threw the mangled and destroyed cards down on the table and walked straight to the PokerNews desk, chucked my bag on the floor and went to the bathroom to splash some water on my face and cool off.

I returned to the desk, grabbed my keys from my bag, ignored everyone that tried to speak to me and made my way to the car to get changed as the Tony G Celebrity Bounty Event was just kicking off.

END BRAIN SPASM

Once I returned from my car I was directed to see Jonno regarding my little incident.

It was agreed that my presence behind the computer as a member of the PokerNews Live Reporting Team wouldn’t be a good idea tonight, and he decided that I should have a night off before returning tomorrow.

I explained the situation to Heath, and although I was letting the team down there was nothing more I could do about out.

I decided that I would head to Geelong for a couple of days, but not before putting myself through some more satellite hell when I finished forth once again in the PokerNews Cup satellite on TonyG Poker.

I sat down on a $2-3NLH table with my $200 and turned it into $302 in about thirty minutes after making two-pair against two players. Peter Aristidou and George Cotaidis were cashing out and asked me join them for some lunch before they played the PokerNews Cup Super Satellite at 2pm.

The Super Satellite was a direct satellite into the PokerNews Cup Main Event with a buy-in of $70 with $50 rebuys. I sat down with $300 worth of $25-denomination chips just in case I felt like getting a bit crazy with the rebuys.

I was in for one rebuy before slowly chipping up nicely before being rivered in a huge pot by Karl Krautschneider when he made a flush against my top pair. Once the rebuy period had ended I decide to do a triple add-on for $150 to see my stack soar to around 9,000 from the original 1,000.

From then onwards I played fairly solid poker before being moved to the feature table with just twenty of the original forty-two players remaining. I then lost the majority of my chips to an old Asian guy when I turned the nut-straight in a raised pot and he turned a flush.

Both Peter and I made the final table along with the old Asian guy, Joe Cabret, cash game player Crazy John and a handful of weak players.

I offered an Insurance Swap with Peter whereby if one of us wins a seat then we pay the non-seat winner a sum – in this case $250. Peter turned it down, and we went straight into the final table with myself sitting fairly low on chips.

I lost a key flip with nines against King-Ten and was left with just one big blind. I waited several hands until finding sixes in early position and managed a near triple. Eventually as play hit six-handed we made a deal whereby the $1560 put away for forth was split $560 for fourth and $500 for fifth and sixth. Being the shortest of the players I was happy to agree, and getting the insurance for my efforts so far was better than a kick in the ass.

With nothing really to lose I started getting really aggressive shoving at any chance I could get to add to my stack. I built it up to around 30k with blinds at 3,000-6,000 as we lost the old Asian guy in fifth. I continued my aggression – especially pushing on Crazy John’s big blind – until the action was folded round to me in the small and I sweated a red Ace. I moved all in and Crazy John instantly called turning over fours. I peeked down to see another red Ace and was more than ecstatic at the possibility of locking up another seat for the Main Event.

Alas . . . not one, but both of the fours would land on the flop and turn to see me bubble for a seat yet again – but at least this time I would collect some money for my efforts.

I packed my car full with shoes, hats, clothes and everything in between before driving up the highway to Geelong. My first stop was at my cousin’s house in Yarraville to pick up his spare key I was going to be staying there while working the PokerNews Cup.

Taking my seat in the freeroll I sat down with $325 worth of green 25-denomination chips just in case I felt like rebuying . . . thirteen times that is!

I chipped up quite quickly before losing a race and was forced to rebuy. Nothing happened for the next umpteenth hands until we hit the end of the rebuy period. I did a triple rebuy for $75 and saw my stack increase to just on 6,000 which was roughly average.

As the 206-player field was cut down to below 80 I began accumulating thanks to a player donating his chips with eights to my Queens. Now up to 14,000, and then 16,000, the imaginary heaven to land phone rang . . .

“Hi Tim, this is God again. How have you been mate? Enough of the small talk . . . I think it’s greedy of you wanting a second PokerNews Cup seat and consequently have decided to flick the doomswitch on you . . . talk soon mate!”

Sitting with double average chips at the 500-1000 level, an old Asian donk limped under the gun (with only 2,600 behind), as did some weak-tight lady from middle position, before I made it 4,000 from the button with Ace-Jack. The blinds passed but the rest of the old Asian donk’s chips went into the middle with King-Queen as the old lady folded. Queen on the flop and that was that . . . well until two hands later some random donk shipped it with Ace-Five and I re-shipped with Ace-Queen. Of course a five fell on the flop, and even though I turned a flush draw, I still lost and slipped to 6k.

I found a double with Aces against Kings before doubling up the big blind when I opened to 2,200 from the button with J♠ 10♠ and was forced to call an additional 3,000. He flopped an Ace and I was back to just over 6k. Next hand someone open shipped with A♥ 8♥ and I snapped with Kings; only to see me exit in 35th place when an Ace landed on the river.

I played some $2-3NLH once the Grand Final was wrapped up by the cats and profited $92 after being up $205 at one point.

Using the Phase Two ticket I had won on my last visit to Crown, I took to the felt with around 100 others. I turned middle set first hand to take a nice pot down until losing a big one holding A♠ 10♠. With three limpers for 100, I called before the player on my left made it 200. Everyone called to see a ten-high flop fall and the action checked round to the preflop raiser who made it 200 to go once again. Everyone folded to me and I made the call to peel one street just in case he actually had something better then top pair.

The turn landed another ten and I fired out 600. He tank-called to see an eight land on the river and an all-in bet follow from me once I saw that he only had 1,700 left. About two minutes went pass before he made the call – and after I tabled my top trips – he slammed down his rivered set of eights . . . WTF!?!?!?

I was unable to grab one of the nine seats up for grabs when I shoved 10bbs with Ace-Jack and got called by Ace-Queen.

With word of a home game, I decided to venture out to Kew as the night was still young.

The game was 25c-25c round of each, and after being down to $12 from my original $100 buy-in I eventually cashed out for $105 courtesy to a great Omaha Hi-Lo orbit.

2am read the clock, and time it was for bed as the game broke and I headed back to Yarraville for the night.

Waking up bright and early I headed to crown to play in the PokerNews Cup Event 1: $230 No Limit Holdem $75,000 Guarantee.

Even though I arrived forty minutes early there was a line that stretched at least sixty people long when I hit the back of it.

Once I was finally registered I took my seat in the 465-player field. With only a 4,000-chip starting bank and a fairly fast structure I decided that I was going to take a solid and tight approach until I could amass some kind of stack . . . only problem was that I wouldn’t even have a chance to get near a stack!

For the ninety minutes that I was in the tournament I only played two hands. I lost half my stack holding 9♥ 9♦ in the big blind when my lone opponent turn a gutshot wheel against me. Then during the 75-150 level I opened to 375 with A♠ Q♠ and was put all in by my opponent from the previous hand from out of the big blind. I tossed in my last 1,500, but made my way out of the tournament in 380th place when his pockets flopped a set.

I quickly gamboooled away $200 on a $2-3NLH table – gamble being just an understatement as I saw my original $200 soar to $300 before straddling and blind betting my way to the felt- before taking my seat in Event 2: $115 Deepstack PokerPro.

Everyone started with a 25,000-chip starting bank, and after triple-barrelling Andrew ‘Adgee’ Jeffreys with A♠ 10♠ on a Q♣ 8♣ 3♣ 5♣ K♠ board I was up to 33,000 after Adgee reluctantly folded a pair and I tabled my bluff.

Nothing really eventuated as both Adgee and I, along with Dennis Huntly, exchanged banter until Adgee fell and then Huntly.

I would eventually perish in 23rd place of the 90 starters when I shoved 61,000 at 3,000-6,000 with 10♣ 10♠ and ran into an opponent’s Q♦ Q♠. He flopped top set, I turned a flush draw, but made yet another early tournament exit.

Food . . . bed . . . then a long night of poker-based thinking ahead!