The past weekend was absolutely hell!

It all started when I headed up to Melbourne on Friday to catch up with some mates. We grabbed some dinner at the local pub while watching some of the Geelong vs Saints match before going bowling.

Mat and GG spotted James and I twenty pins where each game was worth $0.10 a pin, $0.25 a spare, $0.50 a strike and -$1 a first shot gutter ball. With the adjustment, I won by a few pins followed by GG and James while Mat bowled atrociously and owed us each around the $3 mark before the second game saw us readjust the handicap to give Mat ten pins while GG still spotted us twenty.

Mat bowled slightly better, while both James and I couldn’t replicate our 150-plus score of the previous game as GG really cleaned up by bowling out of his skin as the Saints proved victorious and I missed out on my total points bet by two kicks.

Our next stop was Mat’s house where we decided to play a game of Risk – well a few games of Risk – which, when played between some competitive poker players really brought about some intense strategy as the clock ticked into the wee hours of the night. Once the final game was wrapped up, we played a quick game of Bluff, before having to drive GG home – well to Lynn’s house anyway – as we finally got some sleep around the 4am mark.

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Once Mat and I finally awoke around lunchtime, we made our way to Westfield to spend a few hours baby-sitting his sister.

Spending nearly more time in the car looking for a park then wondering the shops, once we finally made our way home we watched Fremantle dispatch of Mat’s beloved Hawks before we made our way to Crown to kill some time before we all headed out for some casual drinks.

This is where my weekend from hell started as I took a seat on a $1-2 NLH table and swiftly made one of those once-in-a-lifetime plays!

Posting in late position, there was a raise to $7 and a call, and I tossed in the additional $5 with 6♦ 7♦. The flop fell Q♣ 5♣ 4♠. The original raiser checked, which was followed by a bet of $15. I called, as did the original raiser before the turn landed the 4♥. Check, bet $20, I call and the original raiser decided to opt out as the 8♦ landed on the river. My lone opponent instantly moved all in and I snap-folded . . . errr what . . . yep I totally misread my hand because in my mind I was looking for only a three or a seven, and when it didn’t come on the river I was always folding. When I announced “I fold” and dropped my cards just in front of me I instantly recognised what I did, but since I had already announced a fold, I didn’t think it was ethical to make up some story while revealing my winning straight. Instead I just dropped my head into my hands, didn’t say a word, and painfully watched my opponent and his K♣ Q♦ rake in the pot.

Several hands later after a limp under the gun, I bumped it up to $11 with A♠ K♠ and was instantly shoved on by the limper for roughly $70. I called it off, and was quite puzzled when he tabled his J♦ 10♥. Although I flopped an Ace, he somehow rolled out a four-card flush to force me to top-up once again. Then just two hands later after two limps, I made it $14 to go with K♥ K♦. Both limpers called, and after the Q♥ 10♥ 8♣ flop landed, the same opponent who held the King-Queen earlier, jammed for $140. I shook my head in a what the hell is going on motion before making the call for my $110 or so. The other player folded, and when the 2♥ fell on the turn, followed by the 8♦ on the river, the appropriately named donkey slammed down his 8♠ 4♠ proudly and grabbed my chips before I could even table my hand or signify that I had lost.

Forced to rebuy once again to be in for $300, I eventually started to see some hands hold as I edged out just a negative $100 session while Mat cleaned up – of course through the donkey on three occasions – before we made our way to Public House to meet up with some of the boys for a friends going-away party. It was there that I had realised that I left a bunch of Crown chips in my pocket – and since I wasn’t planning on being back at Crown for quite a while – was out of pocket a few dollars.

The night of having a few casual drinks and watching some beautiful woman walk past was interrupted by GG and his call for help as he was stranded at some club in the city that wasn’t his thing. Mat and I were getting a little peckish and decide to venture to AC/DC lane to find him and save him for an hour or so. Unfortunately GG wasn’t to interested in deserting Lynn, so we jumped back in the car to make our way to China Bar. Just a block away, GG hailed on us again as Lynn was now all partied out and ready to vacate the club. We did a u-turn and picked them up before tucking into some much-needed food with one of my favourite persons in the world . . . a drunk Lynn Gilmartin!

Burping, spilling food on the table, her lap and into her tea, along with plenty of other stuff saw us enjoy a very entertaining meal before we were informed that the boys had vacated Public House in preference for Blue Bar on Chapel Street; and consequently, that’s where we headed. Unfortunately that was a bad idea as we stood outside being denied entry as the wind continued to hurl and the bouncers continued to be douches. A few minutes waiting for James was quickly trumped by the warmth of the car as we dropped GG and a now asleep Lynn back home.

* * * * * * * *

Sunday was the true day of hell for me as it began with my car not starting.

Mat’s Dad kindly jump-started it for me as I made my way back to Geelong. Once at home, that is where I realised that I had left my laptop power cord at Mat’s place to leave me powerless on the eve of leaving for Sydney.

I then decided to play on PKR for a while and loaded up some 100NL tables where I swiftly lost Queens against Jacks, Ace-King against 88 and Kings against Ace-King. I did manage to stack top set of Aces when I flopped a flush with 2♦ 4♦ as I finish down around $50 or so.

I say around because mid multi-tabling, my connection died and all my tables closed. The reason why? GG had passed on details of how to download Jersey Shore episodes, and consequently my desktop caught a virus that shut everything down. Regardless of what I did, combined with the fix I downloaded to combat the virus, nothing managed to work.

Either way . . . from folding the effective nuts, getting plenty of hands cracked, leaving my charger in Melbourne and conducting a virus . . . it was definitely a weekend from hell!