tilted behaviour

This Sunday I decided that I wanted to play a full MTT schedule for a whole week. My first goal was to knock back 100 tournaments over the six days I was going to be able to play, and of course try and win some money!

With the alarm set at 6:45am, I awoke everyday and grabbed some Ribena from the fridge and some fruit before taking to my desk at 7am for the hopefully long grind.

For my first transition into full-tim MTT grinding, it wasn’t too successful. I made a final two-table run in the $3.30 rebuy, and some deepish runs in the $11 rebuy, but overall here is how my week turned out.

Sunday
PokerStars – 2/7 (cashes)
Full Tilt Poker – 0/2
Absolute Poker – 0/2

Monday
PokerStars – 4/15
Full Tilt Poker – 2/17
Absolute Poker – 0/1

Tuesday
PokerStars – 2/9
Full Tilt Poker – 1/12

Wednesday
PokerStars – 0/4
Full Tilt Poker – 1/9

Thursday
PokerStars – 4/11
Full Tilt Poker – 3/12

Friday
PokerStars – 2/6
Full Tilt Poker – 1/5

Although I continued my semi-decent ITM-rate going 22/112 over the six days, I was very disappointed in not managing to make any money.

Most of my cashes came in the smaller buy-in events as the bigger events – such as the $22 (1r1a) and $26 KO multi-entry – didn’t reap much success. Overall I broke even on PokerStars and lost on Full Tilt Poker, but on the other side of things I was happy and my commitment to sticking to the grind and getting into a rhythm.

Although my bankroll took a small hit, I feel that it puts me in good shape for the upcoming few weeks when Full Tilt Poker’s miniFTOPS kicks into gear with 45 events over two-weeks alongside the sixth installment of the Joe Hachem Deep Stack Series. Taking the weekend off, I’ll be hitting my straps again from Monday onwards with the opening of the miniFTOPS and the big fifth anniversary edition of the Sunday Millions. Shares are available on Chip Me Up for the Sunday Millions and two $55′s as well as the upcoming JHDSS $340 Eight-Game and $340 Terminator.

If I can snatch a big score online or at the JHDSS, I’m probably going to take a shot at the upcoming ANZPT Perth or head over to the Philippines for the Asian Poker Tour. Hopefully within a few weeks time I’m in a position to choose between the two … or even take a shot at both!

As you may be aware now, I have been grinding MTTs over PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker and Absolute Poker for some time now.

My concentration has been purely on Monday’s with the occasional random night grind throughout the week, and although it has been a fairly breakeven experiment, I’m very happy to still have my account roughly in the positive over the three sites.

Today however saw me complete one of my online poker goals in reaching a Monday morning final table in the $11 (1r1a). As I made the money, it was the lone table I had remaining after going 12/35 across all three sites (Full Tilt Poker 7/12, PokerStars 5/17, Absolute Poker 0/1). I had received a couple of ridiculous bad beats, but was hoping that this last tournament was going to see some run-good motor its way through to potentially a $6,000-win!

With around 130 to go (guaranteed ~$50) I opened J♠ 10♦ and continued on a 10♠ 2♥ 9♦ flop before being raised when the turn landed the J♦. I shipped, he snapped it off with K♣ Q♥, but lightning on the river of the 10♣ saw me soar up to the top of the leaderboard.

I made a retarded fold with bottom set with around eighty left after I folded the flop in a multiway pot after the blinds bet, raised, re-raised and shipped their stacks all in. With thirty-four to go I folded Jacks to Kings and Queens to see me slip down to be in twenty-third position overall before rocketing to seventh in chips out of twenty when my 9♣ 8♣ got three streets of value on a 6♣ 8♦ 5♠ 4♣ 7♥ board.

After knocking out Carter ‘devinr12′ Gill I soared to second in chips with two tables to go when my flopped bottom set saw third pair stack off to me on the turn as I reached the final table grouped in the middle. I chipped up against the fish when I cold-called Ace-King from the blinds and got only one street of value against his Ace-high. From then on it was all a disaster as I went from holding one-third of the chips in play five-handed to be out in fifth for a $1,482 payday.

And before you ask if I donked it off, this is how the hands went down. I lost Q♦ Q♥ to A♥ 3♣, A♣ K♦ to A♠ J♥, A♥ 10♠ to 9♦ 9♣ and then A♦ 10♥ to A♣ 7♣ all-in-preflop to bust out in a disgustful fashion.

Without doubt I’m happy at collecting the biggest score of my MTT career resurgence, but was just extremely disappointed at falling in fifth instead of taking out the title like I believed I should have.’

Hopefully this bankroll boost combined with some new found confidence will see me continue to grind up the stakes while also being in a position to take a shot at the upcoming ANZPT Perth and APT Philippines.

Although my online MTT career was barely a few months old, I was looking forward to making 2011 a big year in climbing up the ranks of the Australian online poker community.

Playing the primarily on PokerStars, things have been going allright since I took a hiatus from cash games. My first 50 cashes came from 252 games at an in-the-money rate of 20%, but I was still break-even and slightly down on Full Tilt Poker and Absolute Poker – although I’ve only played a handful of tournaments on the latter two rooms. Consequently my goal for this year is to turn some of these min-cashes into deep runs and big dinks so I can see my bankroll climb skywards – even if my ITM rate takes a slight dive.

Welcoming in the new poker year at the bright and early time of 7am (for me that is), I loaded up PokerStars and Absolute and began my hopefully long grind from my desk.

I felt that I wasn’t running or playing that good at the start of my session and consequently decided to stop registering early then I normally would. I managed to go 1/4 on Absolute and 5/16 on PokerStars for the day registering my first profitable Monday since taking up the MTT-grind, but although the bankroll boost was enjoyable, it could have been so much more if a few things went my way.

In one of the $3 Rebuys with forty players left and me well-placed in tenth, I accidently misclicked and potentially threw away a US$3,500 payday! Being dealt 9♥ 2♣ on the button and having two short-stacks in the blinds, my plan was to move all in if it folded to me. Once the action was on me, I followed through with my plan by shipping it, and once the blinds passed, instead of the pot being pushed to me, there was a pause in play. It was then I noticed that the player in the one seat at the top of the table – the only player that had me covered too – opened from under the gun . . . and since I had nine tables open at the time, I didn’t even notice that he had raised. He made the call holding A♦ K♣ and it was then I called upon my one time for the day! the 4♥ A♥ 9♦ flop kept me alive as the 10♥ on the turn gave me thirteen outs . . . but alas it wasn’t meant to be as the 10♠ bundled me out.

I fell just a few places shy of a final table berth in the $3.30 NLH when I busted in 14th place from the 4,243 starters, but it would be the $11 NLH Rebuy that would hurt the most. With 5,000 starters and 140-odd players remaining guaranteed a $213.90 payday, I copped one of the most sickening beats of my short MTT career (situational based mostly).

Seat 1: STALINGRAD70 (49139 in chips)
Seat 2: sabbatage1 (541623 in chips)
Seat 3: lrounderl (266754 in chips)
Seat 4: warrior1203 (119224 in chips)
Seat 5: Ticiz (193185 in chips)
Seat 6: JackBluff666 (63400 in chips)
Seat 7: Blazed3x1 (162886 in chips)
Seat 8: tRaMSt0p (133668 in chips)
Seat 9: jimpou69 (262142 in chips)
Everyone posts the ante 1600
Blazed3x1: posts small blind 5000
tRaMSt0p: posts big blind 10000
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to tRaMSt0p A♦ A♥

jimpou69: folds
STALINGRAD70: raises 37539 to 47539 and is all-in
sabbatage1: folds
lrounderl: calls 47539
warrior1203: folds
Ticiz: folds
JackBluff666: folds
Blazed3x1: folds
tRaMSt0p: raises 84529 to 132068 and is all-in
lrounderl: calls 84529
*** FLOP *** 4♠ 2♣ 8♦

*** TURN *** 4♠ 2♣ 8♦ 2♠

*** RIVER *** 4♠ 2♣ 8♦ 2♠ K♥

*** SHOW DOWN ***
tRaMSt0p: shows A♦ A♥

lrounderl: shows K♠ K♦

lrounderl collected 169058 from side pot
STALINGRAD70: shows K♣ 4♥

lrounderl collected 162017 from main pot

If my hand holds in that pot, I climb into the top forty in chips giving myself I great chance at having a crack at the US$21,000 first prize!

As it has been said millions (if not gazillions) of times before . . . oh well, shit happens . . . time to move onto the next tournament!

Waking up to catch the Netherlands vs Spain World Cup Final, I was partly sweating it because I laid a bet at the start of the World Cup for Spain to win.

With the game locked up at half time, I decided to head to the Strip so that I could get some of the pieces needed for the prank I was going to pull on my boss Matt at the freeroll later on in the day.

My plan was to get a t-shirt printed that read Matthew Parvis Direct To You In 20 Minutes 702-340-MATT – which turned out perfectly – while also getting a photoshopped photo of Matt printed off and stuck on some girls direct to you-esque cards (thanks to my buddy Carey who did the photoshopping for me).

On my return to the Hard Rock, I quickly raced upstairs to the room to shower and change before wondering down to the poker room to munch away on the nibbles that had been prepared for us. A total of thirty-two PokerNews employees were in attendance of the annual WSOP freeroll as I danced round for the first dozen or so hands attempting to get this prank sorted.

With plans of getting an extremely hot female to walk into the room, give Matt a huge kiss and then get him to sign the picture before she would take the t-shirt off and give it to him while also slipping him a room key, was difficult. For over ten minutes no one decent walked past until Kirsty managed to find someone willing to help us out.

The result . . . plenty of laughs, a red-faced Matt and pure satisfaction on my behalf!

Finally being able to return to the freeroll, there was cash prizes (minimum of $50) on offer, but the major prizes were the five iPad’s up for grabs. I managed to knock out Greg when in a limped pot against Mike I flopped bottom set of sevens against Greg’s top two and the board bricked out. I really started to get things going when we were down to the final two tables as I accumulated chips a lot easier through simple preflop raises since everyone was playing so tight for the iPad. Once we lost Sarah on the bubble, I had accumulated a top three chip stack as the final table was formed.

Seat 1: Ben Conoley (blogger)
Seat 2: Chad Holloway (blogger)
Seat 3: Matthew Parvis (da boss man)
Seat 4: Kristy Arnett (presenter)
Seat 5: Andrew Bogner (marketing director)
Seat 6: Adam ‘Snoopy’ Goulding (blogger and master of puns)
Seat 7: Tim Duckworth (blogger)
Seat 8: Elissa Harwood (blogger)
Seat 9: Alex Villegas (field reporter)
Seat 10: Adam Brown (cameraman)

The pros to this final table was the fact that Matt and Andrew were ineligible for the iPad which meant that we really needed to lose only three players, and since I didn’t want one, there was a good chance I could do a deal to get money instead.

We lost Adam and then Elissa to leave us with eight players as I began the negotiating. I managed to score $75 from the five eligible iPad players along with some of the leftover money which meant at least $375 plus between $100 or so on top. Once we all agreed, I went on a tear chipping up at ease before knocking out both Alex and Andrew in one hand. There is some background in this hand where Alex pushed me off a pot I was expecting to check down with him since we had Elissa all in. Chad then folded for his last chip in the small blind – while holding an Ace – because Andrew would be all in the next hand on the big blind and they were both involved in the last longer.

Consequently I attempted to double up Andrew by smooth-calling 4,000 only to have Alex move all in for 15,500. I told him that this was payback and called with the powerful 4♣ 2♥. Andrew tabled his 9-5 while Alex slowrolled us with his Kings. Justice prevailed as I dinged two fours on the flop to BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA his ass!

I then eliminated Parvis with Kings against Ace-King before dispatching of a short-stacked Snoopy as Ben and I went heads up with me holding a roughly 70,000 to 25,000 chip advantage with blinds at 2,000-4,000.

We probably played fifteen or so hands before he limped for 6,000 (after the blinds went up) and I checked my option with 4♣ 5♦. The flop fell down 4♠ 7♥ 8♣ and all the money went in with Ben well in the lead holding Queens. The turn blanked out, but the river landed the 4♥ to see me spike another set of trip fours; but this one being for the title of 2010 World Series of Poker PokerNews Freeroll Champion!

Congratulations to Tim Duckworth, Winner of Event 58: PokerNews Freeroll ($to be decided)!

Unfortunately the PokerNews team was unable to shell out for a diamond-encrusted gold bracelet, but the victory and some cash on the side eased the pain as we all ventured home and to our rooms upstairs to prepare for the PokerStars Player Party in just a few hours time!

Brett, Ben, Chad, Martin and I all split a cab to the Rio to look for some people as well as picking up Brett’s phone charger before we waltzed into the Palms just before the doors opened at 9pm.

While waiting in line, Ben and I decided to go on a Maccas run to grab some cheeseburgers as Brett called on us to bring him one to. Once we returned to the line, Martin, Chad and Brett were no where to be seen, and after a few phone calls, we discovered that they had decided to enter ahead of us!

Once inside, the beers flowed freely . . . but not for me . . . as I was sticking to water since I was starting to feel slightly better for the first time in a long time.

The newbies to the PokerNews team: Brett, Ben and Chad

Rich, Donnie, Remko, JonBon, Me and GG

Snoop Dogg’s support act Esthero came on at around 10pm or so, and she wasn’t that bad at keeping us entertained – even swigging a bottle of Jagermeister mid set to the cheers of everyone on the dance floor.

Since my plan was always to go home earlier then everyone else, I made my way back to the dance floor at around 11pm to wait patiently for Snoop Dogg with Ben and Brett. People slowly trickled onto the dance floor making it extremely squishy as I vowed to wait for Snoop just so that I could say I’d seen him perform from a few metres away – although I had no real interest in him or his music.

As the clock ticked past midnight, Brett was on about his sixteenth beer and decided that it was time to punch me in the face a couple of times. I didn’t even feel the urge to punch the kid back, since he was so wasted, and consequently just shrugged it off and continued to wait not so patiently for Snoop.

Finally at 12:30am Snoop came on and erupted the audience into cheers as the smell of weed that had been floating in the room for the past hour started to get stronger and stronger. Three songs into his set I pulled the pin and headed upstairs to say goodbye to the rest of the bunch before making my way back to the Hard Rock to get some rest.

There wasn’t too much gambling or kicking back in saunas, but pretty girls, great company and many drinks were favoured while Victorino Torres fought his way through a 342-player field to become the next champion of Macau when his 8♣ 7♣ for a flopped straight held true against Chong Cheong’s straight draw.

With Macau being the second stop for season four on the Asia Pacific Poker Tour (APPT), it is still highly prestigious, and therefore be setting the precedent for the upcoming five-stop season, and consequently, we’ll kick it off with The Eight Points of Enlightenment: APPT Macau.

1 – Accommodation: When traveling around the world covering tournaments there is always a budget that you are trying to sneak under so that you can make some money on the top. Both the PokerStars and PokerNews media members had no idea how, but were very willing to accept, the hell we lucked it out with fantastic rooms at the Grand Lisboa. I mentioned earlier that the rooms we had been allocated were incredibly balla, but really it’s so hard to imagine without actually being there! Poker journalists and tournament reporters will take any freebie we can get our hands on, and when the APPT and PokerStars put us up at a place like the Grand Lisboa, then the whole working week becomes a freeroll.

2 – Tournament Structure: Danny McDonagh has always created fantastic structures for any event that he is running, and the APPT one is no exception. WIth just seven levels on each of the three day ones, it means that players get maximum play without feeling run-down after a long day on the felt. Easily a three-day event, having the tournament spread over four days proves to the players that are willing to make the journey to Macau, that they’re interests are at the most importance.

3 – Where Is Everyone?: Last year the APPT increased the buy-in from HK$25,000 to HK$40,000 and there was always an expected decline in numbers. However it was enough to decrease from the prizepool as there was nearly a US$90,000 increase in first place prizemoney. This year however the numbers slid once again from the 429 that turned out last August down to the 342 that took to the felt over the past few days. Yes our poker economy might not be at it’s most vibrant right now, but I think it is the next point that lead to the disappointing numbers for 2010.

4 – It’s To Squishy!: No I’m not talking about the distance between tables and players but the fact that the season four stop for Macau was moved three months from it’s usual late-Winter time slot. I have nothing against moving the tournament, but whoever decided to do this really didn’t take a close look at the schedule of tournaments around the Australasian area. A few weeks previous we had the New Zealand Poker Championships, followed immediately by ANZPT Sydney only to have Macau and then the Melbourne Poker Championships. For those mid-tier players that want to reduce as many traveling expenses as possible, having to choose between New Zealand, Sydney, Macau and Melbourne, then they’re are likely to choose to Sydney and Melbourne due not only to the location but also the prizepools on offer and the schedule of events available. Let’s not forget about the WSOP Main Event where most online players will be looking to spend hours trying to satellite in ahead of one of the stops on the APPT!

5 – Media Considerations: I wrote about this in the last Eight Points of Enlightenment I did for Macau, but the staff at the Grand Lisboa do a great job in making us feel comfortable while we work. Whether it is PokerStars player packs or HK$50 and HK$100 meal vouchers, they do their best to make us feel at home. The only issue that we had – as we did last year – was where we were located. Although moving across the tournament floor, we were still jammed up against a wall that had people going to the toilet at one end, tables where the action was on one side and the buy-in desk and storage areas at the other end. The Grand Lisboa isn’t the most spacious poker room I’ve worked in, but some space reserved out the back away from all the smokers and railbirds would have made our life a lot easier.

6 – Poker Fans Welcome!: The one thing I have never seen around the world – well kind of apart from the WSOP – is the fact the Grand Lisboa sold PokerStars clothing, gear and accessories. From jackets, hoodies and hats to chip sets, card protectors and previous season DVDs, the Grand Lisboa merchandise store had nearly everything a poker crazed fan would love to own. None of the gear was dirt cheap, but it wasn’t going to cost you a buy-in on the tables either as nearly everyone – including us media freeloaders – walked away with one piece of gear for ourselves or friends back home. Hint to all poker tournaments . . . sell awesome gear for the players and they’ll keep coming back for more!

7 – Party Time: For the last two years the Asian Poker Tour (APT) has set the trend in partying while in Macau, but PokerStars finally stepped up this year delivering a better-than-average player party on day 1c. Although it was randomly in the middle of the tournament – instead of being at the start or end – it meant that virtually everyone could attend. Unlike the APT where there are fantastically gorgeous girls in lingerie splashing round in a bath full of bubbles, PokerStars Macau delivered with a buffet, a spacious set up in the ballroom and huge variety and supply of alcohol along with a Michael Jackson impersonator that no one really appreciated (well apart from myself and a few others!). They are still learning the trade of throwing a party, but PokerStars Macau and the Grand Lisboa are definitely on the rise in my party power rating!

8 – The Money Is Staying Closish: Victorino Torres may not be a local, but he is only a hop, step and a jump away in the Northern Mariana Islands. It could have easily been different with players from New Zealand, Norway, Costa Rica, United Kingdom and the USA all on the final table. Keeping the money predominately local is a must in some of these developing poker areas so that new players that live in and around the area can be develop an interest in the game, so that in the long run, the small Australasian poker community can continue to grow.

With APPT Macau all wrapped up, it’s time to head over to Las Vegas for the Mecca of poker tournaments . . . the 2010 World Series of Poker!

Make sure to stay tuned to Tilted Behaviour for all my updates along the way!

The Red Bull is in the fridge, the iPod fully charged and the suitcase almost packed.

It’s time for Macau!

PokerStars has asked me to be part of the blogging team for highly anticipated Macau leg of the Asian Pacific Poker Tour – and since Macau is one of my favourite poker related destinations – how could I turn the offer down.

I suppose the best thing about Macau is catching up with my PokerNews buddies Donnie, Eric and GG (since they do occasionally read Tilted Behaviour, I better keep 75% of my audience happy) but in reality it’s really a battle between apples, oranges and pears!

Gambling (and in particular Baccarat)?

Night-life?

Cheap Massages (and in particular the PG rating of the Grand Waldo Spa)?

I enjoy playing poker in Macau although I haven’t had too much success in the past two visits, but am hoping that I can have some luck this time round. My first year there I got hooked on Baccarat and made somewhere around the HK$12,000 mark in profit. Last year wasn’t too good, but this time round I hope it all changes although I doubt that I will play too much Baccarat or other table games.

Oh the Macau night-life . . . one minute it is fantastic and the next it has you waking up feeling worse than ever before! There is no doubt that at some point during the trip that I will visit the D2 nightclub where so many great memories have been etched – from David Saab’s antics last year to PokerNews reporter David King falling asleep in the male toilets to gorgeous girls hanging off your every incomprehensible word since you’re white (or half) and logically have lots of money!

The Grand Waldo Spa is the first thing I want to cross off my list once I get there. Have a spa, sauna, massage and a full relax all for chump change. Only problem is that I just saw this on their website, “For improving Grand Waldo Spa facility, with effect from 01 February 2010, the Grand Waldo Spa will be under renovation and closed. The exact re-open date will be announced later” . . . three letters is enough . . . FML! I guess another spa will have to be found.

Hopefully you guys will stay locked on to Tilted Behaviour as I detail my Macau adventures while mixing it with a little work in the uncharted waters of the PokerStars blog.

Better get cracking as I only have three hours until I zip up the highway!

Due to my interest in poker over the last few years, it was always inevitable that my Dad would develop an interest too.

Recently he made a small deposit on PokerStars but hasn’t been able to get any rhythm and settle in a limit where he can develop his skills and make some money. He understands the basics of the game, but of course, is still a basic amateur.

Over the last few weeks he hasn’t been able to play too much, and I think this was mainly due to time, but also the fact that his relatively small starting bankroll is a little depleted.

I logged on under Duckers51 to see how much he had left, and after seeing a shocking three bucks and change, I decided to try and run it up for him. Since that day I’ve played a few $1.15 Double-or-Nothing sit-n-goes while sometimes short-stacking some $0.01-0.02c NLH to see the account reach a high of nearly triple what I started with.

Now don’t worry, I’m not going to share hand histories from $0.01-0.02c NLH or bad beat stories, but instead share a chat-off I had with a player by the name of kyle939.

Basically it all started after I was dealt A♣ K♦ and check-raised all-in on a A♥ 4♣ 4♦ flop, and kyle939 made the call with J♦ 5♦ and made a backdoor flush to force me to rebuy.

Duckers51: tell me, what were you thinking when you called with Jack-high?
Duckers51: did you think you were ahead when I check-raised you all in?
Duckers51: or . . . was it that you’re a complete donkey with a faggot haricut that feels like being a donkey?
kyle939: you are a dick
kyle939: i’ve only been playing 1 month
Duckers51: yeah obviously
Duckers51: and you’ll be broke in another month
kyle939: hey duck you are a dick
Duckers51: i don’t mind that you think that, but you still didnt answer my questions
kyle939: hey mallard do you know anything
kyle939: the duckman blows
Duckers51: i know more than you
kyle939: why do you suck
Duckers51: how do I suck? You hit a runner-runner flush like a fish
kyle939: way to go fuck

I then managed to double when my Q♠ J♣ held up against kyle939’s A♥ J♥ when I moved all-in on a Q♦ 8♠ 8♥ flop.

Duckers51: well played fish
Duckers51: the money you just gave me could have been used to get yourself a haircut
kyle939: stop crying
kyle939: maybe in Mexico
Duckers51: maybe from a hobo that lives on your street
kyle939: can’t get a haircut in the real world for less than $15
kyle939: DORK
Duckers51: how would you know? doesn’t seem like uv ever had one!
kyle939: ya play i will take your money dick
Duckers51: well lets play higher stakes
Duckers51: how much money you got?
kyle939: I’m up all night duck fuck
Duckers51: does that random statement have a point?
kyle939: hey duck in the mouth lets play
Duckers51: how much money you got on this site?
Duckers51: I got 4k, so you wanna play $5-10 NLH?
Duckers51: i’ll start a table, come find me
kyle939: your cool
Duckers51: thanks
Duckers51: so is that a yes
Duckers51: or are you wussing out?
kyle939: what did you do blow someone for that
Duckers51: no . . . only your mum did that so she could send you to school
kyle939: not stupid pervert
Duckers51: i made it playing poker you retard
kyle939: thats cool
kyle939: loser
Duckers51: how am i the loser if you won’t even put ur money where your mouth is?
kyle939: im getting money from you and you arent touching me
kyle939: PERVERT
Duckers51: ummm, so you playing me heads up or not?
Duckers51: simple question
Duckers51: if not
Duckers51: i think you can shut the fuck up
kyle939: im not going anywhere with you
kyle939: PERVERT
kyle939: fuckster
kyle939: actually you suck duck person
kyle939: coulda been yours duck guy
kyle939: really duck guy
kyle939: you blow

kyle939 then doubled an opponent up with King-Queen versus King-Jack on a Jack-high board.

Duckers51: hahaha . . . ur an ATM kyle!
kyle939: really duck watch
kyle939: now i am crying duck fucker
kyle939: dont duck around
Duckers51: AAAATTTTTTTMMMMMMMMM
kyle939: just watch

Then this beautiful hand happened. From out of the small blind I opened with J♥ J♦ over kyle939’s limp. The flop fell J♠ 7♠ 7♣ and I check-raised kyle939’s bet before checking the 8♥ on the turn. kyle939 moved all-in, I double-fist-pump-snap called and his 3♠ 3♣ was left drawing dead.

Duckers51: BOOM mutha fucka!
kyle939: fuck off duck
Duckers51: you realise you had a pretty bad hand there kyle
Duckers51: threes are no good on that board you fish
kyle939: hey duck fucker blow a fish
kyle939: you will see i will get that little bit of $ back
Duckers51: then you can use it to get a haircut
kyle939: hey duck how do you know I need a hair cut
kyle939: are you watching me
Duckers51: yes kyle I am watching you play like a donkey and donate all your money to everyone
kyle939: lol
kyle939: and
Duckers51: and . . .you need a haircut to fix that ugly mug of yours!
kyle939: i will get it back freak
Duckers51: im the feak . . .? . . . have you looked int he mirror recently?
kyle939: lmao
kyle939: i got lots of time duck fucker
kyle939: and how do you fuck a duck
Duckers51: ur the one that keeps saying it, so i think u’d have a better understanding of bestiality
kyle939: chillout cause i will get your $
Duckers51: im going to take the money I won off you and rub it on your moms titties!
kyle939: no! That is fucking a cow not a bird
Duckers51: huh
kyle939: needledick
kyle939: your gross and someone should report you
Duckers51: ur the one that keeps saying FUCK every second word
Duckers51: dont worry
Duckers51: im going to bid you adieu
Duckers51: everyone . . . please take kyle the ATM to the cleaners
Duckers51: and then rub his money on his moms titties later tonight!

Now I bet you’re all thinking that you shouldn’t berate players that are playing $0.01-0.02c NLH because they’re obviously still learning, but I just couldn’t help myself.

I obviously was trying to level him with the $4k heads-up match, but it was just so enjoyable pissing him off. Didn’t he realise that if I actually did have $4k in my account, I would probably not be playing the smallest game available?

Well I got a good laugh out of it today, and hopefully you did too.

I just hope that Dad doesn’t mind if his chat gets banned!

With a day off between the two previous day two’s and the upcoming day three there was a Dream Team Media freeroll held for anyone that worked in the media.

Marc Hodge, Mat Pater and I teamed up to form team Tilted Behaviour. We joined several PokerNews teams in a battle to be the longest lasting to win a seat into the $1,680 Dream Team Main Event in a few days time.

I busted early when I shoved Ace-Six with my short-stack and was snapped off by Ace-Nine. However both Marc and Mat would hold the fort down and see us take down the longest-lasting trophy and $1,680 freeroll!

A few hours later we all combined once again to take part in the PokerNews Freeroll!

Everyone had a random bounty on their hand to go along with the prizepool, and before the cards were in the air, Garry and I revealed our t-shirts.

GG had both DK and Mel on his team with pictures of me and the words of Sometimes . . . me and my mates . . . we just like to grind, while Donnie, Eric and Mat were on my side with a picture of GG’s mug on it and the slogan of Who the f**k is Garry Gates?. Everyone’s t-shirt however had an alternative slogan on the back with mine saying Mate Ditcher, Mat’s saying Plzzz Mate and Eric and Donnie’s saying Pay Forgetter.

Our T-Shirt Battle

I was out of the freeroll fairly early when my Ace-King was outran by Marc’s Queen-Jack. The flop fan out King-Queen-Queen, but no improvement would fall on the turn and river and I handed over my bounty to Marc. However, I quickly grabbed it back so I could read what it would be . . . Tim Duckworth owes the holder of this card $20!

Unveiling my bounty

WTF! I had to pay my own bounty . . . firstly rival t-shirts and now I lose out in a freeroll . . . so ridiculous!

Melissa and F-Train went heads up in the freeroll and chopped the money, but Melissa would officially take it down as we now all prepared for one of the greatest party’s in the world . . . the PokerStars Player’s Party!

With a few hours to kill before the party kicked off, a few of us grabbed some food at the Rio before making our way to the Palms at the Rain Nightclub.

We made the most of the open bar as Donnie and I ventured into the Hachem VIP area to mingle for a while. We paced the dancefloor bumping into a pro here, a media member there and a fellow colleague everywhere else before we waited round for Nelly to come on to the stage at midnight.

He performed a bunch of songs, and soon after we walked out the door to witness some degen gambling by nearly the whole PokerNews crew that remained – apart from the wiser and stronger Aussie boys!

Back to work tomorrow, but here is a rough video I put together of Nelly performing (note – the sound quality on this camera is fairly terrible, so I cut it out and just added some recorded tracks).