Flying over the French countryside as the sun rose was an awe-inspiring sight!

Not only did it reinforce the feelings of wanting to head to Paris, but it also presented a strong case for hiring a car and driving round the countryside experience what France really has to offer – the food, the people and the beautiful landscape.

We touched down in Charles De Gaulle and flirted with the idea of making our way into the city to visit the Eiffel Tower, but after a very tilted Eric threw a tantrum we decided just to camp it out in the terminal for four hours instead of risking missing our flight.

With only a few Euro’s in our – well really Eric’s – possession we were unable to dine out on drinks to satisfy our travel dehydration, and instead just occupied ourselves by using the internet and relaxing before another long flight back to the States.

One of the things I always do when I travel is board last. First of all I hate standing in line for no reason, as there is no benefit to being on the plane early. Secondly if I’m going to be flying for hours, I might as well spend as little time as possible on the actual plane.

Following this philosophy both Eric and I made our way to the ticket ripper lady (insert actual job title here) and as Eric was cleared I was halted . . . this is how it all went down.

“Excuse me sir, do you have a return ticket?”
“Yes I do”
“Can I please see it?”
“No it’s in my other suitcase in the USA”
“Oh, ok, why?”
“Cause I didn’t feel the need to bring two suitcases with me”
“Well, I’m sorry sir, but you’re going to have to show us the ticket otherwise you cannot fly”
“Ummm . . . well why is it your issue here as I’m heading to the USA?”
“It’s just a procedure sir”
“Ok, well my flight is Virgin Australia Flight 2 at midnight on Wednesday”
“I’m sorry sir, but we need to actually see the ticket to let you on the plane”
“You gotta be f**king kidding me!”
“It is just procedure sir”
“Well do you have access to the internet for me?”
“No sir”
“Then how do you expect me to show you?”
“That is your problem sir”

A few minutes went by as I continued to argue with why they need to see my ticket as I wasn’t returning to Australia for a few days, before being hit with this one.

“Sir, if you don’t show me your ticket then these two people will be taking your seat . . . it’s ok, we have another flight in nine hours though”
“You f**king kidding me?”

I booted my laptop up, paid €30 to access the internet and showed them my e-ticket as the lady counted down to just five seconds.

Finally on the flight following the Charles De Gaulle hell!

* * * * * * * *

You would have expected everything that happened in Charles De Gaulle to be the end of my hassles for the day, but it would all happen again when we touched down in Salt Lake City.

Waiting to pass through immigration I began to notice that it was taking a little longer than expected. After waiting for five minutes the immigration officer asked me to take a seat while he called his supervisor.

Eventually I was called into an area closed off to normal access and was grilled by a security guard.

“What were you doing in Lebanon?”
“What are you doing in the USA?”
“Where are you staying?”
“How do you know that person?”
“How do you know the person you are travelling with?”

I got asked these question at least ten times each – no joke – and everytime the answer was the same.

Ten minutes into the questioning a few guards walked into the room and put on rubber gloves.

. . . GULP . . .

“Excuse me sir, can you please come in this room?”

The door opened, and all I could see from where I was seated was four white walls in a small room.

. . . GULP . . .

I stood up in preparation to be defiled, only to see that the room contained a desk and a computer. No glove was needed as I was grilled with a few more questions before being let go.

Both Eric and I raced to catch our flight back to Las Vegas, and we made it just in time!

* * * * * * * *

Returning to Las Vegas, we checked into the Golden Nugget courtesy of the second placing in the Howard and Suzie Lederer Celebrity Charity Tournament a few weeks previously.

I enjoyed a swim and a spa before relaxing the night away.